The Girl Who Waited.

    A few years back I had started praying for my future husband. I would be sitting on my bed like the patient princess I am (just kidding).. but I would be sitting on my bed looking out of my bedroom window, thinking and praying. The light would be shining through my window and I would be admiring the beauty that God had given me to look at. Other days, it would be pouring down rain but I would find it just as beautiful. Other times, I would climb the ladder to the R.V in my parent's driveway and lay down on the roof and admire the beauty of space and the stars. How God in all his majesty just kinda threw the stars up there. And most of these times that I would pray and talk to God, I would pray for my husband. I would pray, where ever he is and whoever he is that God would keep him. That, whatever he was going through, if it was situations similar to mine that he would know that God has him and loves him. That God would bring this man closer to him and that one day, he would find me.

A few years later came D.J.

We technically met in high school. He was the cute popular guy and I was the not so noticed nerd girl. Half the time I honestly felt like Mia from Princess Dairies accept, I never turned out to be some future royal queen. Anyways, we had one class with each other and the first time I saw him I thought he was attractive but I left it at that and pushed him out of my mind. We never talked. We were never friends. Yet, I was still praying for whoever that guy might be.

I graduated and was about to turn 19.

I was learning a lot, spiritually and I really wanted a good group of friends that I could just be myself around. Most of those turned out to be family but D.J quickly became part of our little group. He wasn't able to come to my birthday bonfire but he was the only one who got me anything. One day, we planned a outing to the movies and I remember standing there waiting for everyone to show up so we could all see the movie. I can't even remember what movie it actually was... anyways D.J and I started talking more. At the time, I was terrified of getting a job but at the same time I thought I needed one. Every guy I had talked to before seemed to not care if I had a job or just not care at all. He said I should get a job and asked why I wouldn't get one. I was shocked and thrown off guard. He was the first guy to actually dig a little deeper and be honest with me. I think I honestly admired him more after that and even before... and I got a job. Talking with him became easier and easier.. and his kindness toward me won my heart.

I couldn't admit it to myself for months though.

I have never been in love before nor, had I ever felt like this about anyone. I denied it to everyone that I liked him but I felt like it was wrong to say that and that I needed to tell someone the truth. I wanted to contain it but I couldn't. I talked about him constantly, to everyone. I wanted him to say that he loved me but did he? At last, we went to a movie together and he asked to hold my hand... well he asked twice because I was too shocked that he had asked me the first time. I had never met anyone so sweet and nice to me. He loved God. I just knew this was the one I had been praying for.

The one I had been waiting for...

xxx A.M.M

Update!

More DIY projects coming soon!

Pinky Promise,

xx Am

If you are curious about the projects I will be doing.. here is the board. :)

http://pinterest.com/demadhatter13/a-thing-called-creativity/

London 1920 (DIY)

Hi Guys!

So, I have a board on my pinterest account that has a bunch of DIY stuff. Well, I plan to do it myself. Anyways, I've decided to post all (or most) of the things I make on here. With that, here is project one..

I had a blank canvas. I used regular duct tape. I then, cut the duct tape twice, making thinner strands. The "D" was somewhat tricky but, I angled the strips of duct tape downward. If you are attempting this.. make sure everything is somewhat even. Also, the duct tape would stick to the canvas but it also was easy to remove while positioning the letters.

I then decided to add "1920" to the bottom of the canvas. Use the same process you used for the letters, just make the strands smaller.

I then, broke the crayons in half (I only had one box) and taped them to the canvas. By the way, I had trouble with the crayons staying in place so, I put a long strand of white duct tape over the crayons.

I started on the left side of the canvas with a blow dryer and slowly worked my way to the right. Put the dryer on high. The crayons with the points will give off a dripping like pattern onto the canvas. The other crayons (even the pointed ones after awhile) will start gushing out color. Some of the letters did have problems sticking after some time.. I just kept adding tape. Also, its harder for the colors to reach the "1920" so, I ended up taking a purple crayon in one hand and the dryer in the other.

The finished product should look something like this. keep in mind, that the weird texture where the letters were is left over "stickiness" from the actual duct tape. However, I like the look and it would be hard to get off. Make sure you peel the tape off kinda slow.

Hope you have fun.. I know I did!

Best of Luck,

Am c:

http://media-cache-ec4.pinterest.com/upload/159244536794163366_8LGYowkt.jpg

Love (From a more mature view)

Okay, the reason for the title of this post is because, I haven't been on this thing in FOREVER. I actually, didn't expect to be able to log back in. However, I clicked the sign in button and here I am! Anyways, I was reading over some of my old posts and I came across the one about love...

Wow.

Needless to say, I should probably explain how I now view love.

Since I hit that wonderful age (13), I've been fascinated by the word "love." And I suppose, that our view of this word changes over time. Mine has changed over the last year or so..

I am sure the reason for this change is one of two things,

1) God
2) Life Changing Events

Or, maybe both..

My best friend recently married about a month ago. When you view your best friend or yourself getting marrried, you seem to picture it being so far away. Honestly, I was suprised it happened so fast. Yet, it happened.

I remember the morning of her wedding, pretty clearly.. I wasn't awake, one of my favorite people were getting married, and I didn't want to be there. Sounds awful, doesn't it? I was curled up in a blanket on a couch. I was texting a friend who was trying to comfort me and who had a similar situation. Don't get me wrong.. I approved of the guy she was marrying and was extremely happy for her but.. mentally, it was hard to accept. It all seemed to be happening to fast and I'm greatful for that one friend who could relate.

Anyways, we all stayed the night at her fiance's house. Things were busy that morning and I knew I needed to share something with my best friend. I finally (while putting make-up on), got her into the bathroom to talk. I told her how you have to "will to love someone" that, it wasn't always going to be easy. That most of all, put God first.

See, here is the problem with most people..

1) They base everything around feelings. (I'm also guilty of doing this)
2) They base love upon looks.
3) They think everything has to be romantic 24/7. (Wouldn't we all)

This, however, is a very messed up and DANGEROUS view of "love." Don't get me wrong, love does include things like feelings, romance, and looks.. just not all the time and in diffrent ways.

Most of the time, it's plain ole' hard work. You have to "will to love." What does that mean? I had no idea before this wedding. My mother had been trying to share this truth with me for months but, I'm one of those stubborn people who learn by experience. I hosted my best friend's bridal shower and that day, the phrase "will to love" started to become clear in my mind..

You can't expect a person to fulfill you, only God can do that. Which, also means it isn't always going to be easy. That, is where "will to love" comes in.

Let's take number 1,

1)The, "They base everything around feelings."
Looking back, I wish I did this a lot less but of course... I wasn't looking to God as my true fulfillment. People (girls ecspecailly) think that their guy has to be the center of their world. Ladies, God should be that center. I read a quote once that stated, "A girl should be so lost in Christ that a man has to search for Him to find her." If you center things around his feeling for you.. or your feelings for him... you are going to be one disappointed individual.

2) "They base love upon looks."
"He is so handsome!" They're is nothing wrong with wanting a good looking guy.. just don't base everything around that notion. Look at his heart.. after all, his looks may fade. That means you are left with his heart.

3) "They think everthing has to be romantic 24/7."
I blame hollywood for a lot of the so called "romance," that people think they are going to get. My view on this for awhile was very messed up. When it comes down to it.. you might just be sitting on the couch, him reading a book and you watching "Titanic" by yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. It isn't always going to be romantic.. will to love.

I guess the point to this whole thing is "willing to love" is loving someone no matter what (I'm talking about after you're married. You best be extremely careful before hand.) You have to love them even when they get on your nerves. I'm not a married person but, I hope to put God first and "will to love." And advice to single ladies (like myself), don't wait around. Be so in love with Christ that if he does bring a man your way, you'll know.

Love,
Amber M. Marshall

Stop waiting! http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/\

"As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If you keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love." -John 15:9,10

Cute song.

"Light A Way" - He is We

The morning’s here, and we’re still caught up in the night.
The sky was clear, and everything felt right.
Our time is short, but I’m sure I’ll see you soon.
We’ll take another walk along the bridge, and underneath the moon.
What a find, If I could I’d hit rewind and replay.
All the moments that I wished, I could’ve called you mine.

And tonight, I pray.

Light a way, on my love.
Light a way, from above.
Shine it down, lead me home,
Back to him.

A night away, and we’ve got a few to go.
And I’ve mastered the art of missing, and my smile lacks a glow.
That you showed me how to shine that very night.
We were entwined, Oh God how I wish you were mine.

And tonight, I pray.

Light a way, on my love.
Light a way, from above.
Shine it down, lead me home,
Back to him.
Bring me back to him.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my heart you choose to keep.
And if I die before I wake, all of me is yours to take.
If I don’t see you again, It’d take all I have within.
Maybe I’ll just stay awake, I think I’ll just stay awake.

Light a way, on my love.
Light a way, from above.
Shine it down, lead me home,
Light a way, on my love.
Light a way, from above.
Shine it down, lead me home.

For the Love of Poetry

Acquainted with the Night

BY ROBERT FROST

I have been one acquainted with the night.

I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.

I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.

I have passed by the watchman on his beat

And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet

When far away an interrupted cry

Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-bye;

And further still at an unearthly height,

One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right

I have been one acquainted with the night.

Love.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It
opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get
inside you and mess you up."

Who knew? Who knew today I would be sitting here fuming. I just don't get it. You find that one person who you adore, the only one you've ever been able to compliment or even given into and what happens? You stop hearing from him...makes a ton of sense. Then you wonder to yourself, is it me? That in return makes you feel...awful.

Let me let you in on my story.

When it comes to love, oh when it comes to love...I just don't know what to do. My head is going to over a million places within an hour. If the guy only knew how much it took me to even pay him a compliment, I swear, he'd be impressed. Yet, I'm an introvert. I can't just like someone. It doesn't work like that for me. If a person likes me before I like him...it freaks me out, 99.9% of the time. I have to have this mutal likeness with the person. I always knew I would just know, "Thats him, he is the one I want." This has happened to me a total of 2 times. Once quite recent but what can I do about it? I can do absolutlely nothing. It is sad. Honestly, it took me 5 minutes to realize I like him, that has NEVER happened to me.

I've always been a romantic, but I'm so picky when it comes to the opposite sex. Not saying I knew what I wanted, I just wanted him. I wanted this to work. I prayed, "Lord I just don't get it, am I suppose to not end up with the person I want?" I'm also very impatient. I have no idea what is going on in the other person's head but I'm just dying to know. Once you think you have love figured out, take a few steps back...far back. I don't mind being single, I promise, until I talked to him, I was perfectly fine. I like being a hermit. I love music, writing, poetry, and I hate goodbyes. I may never understand love but then, where would be the fun? I guess a girl should always be crossed in love? I guess the worst part about goodbyes is when you don't get one. I'm not writing this for someone to have pity on me, just to all those who can relate.

I hate when you want to love someone and you don't understand why he goes for all these other girls...who don't even really want him. Yet, here you are, not loving anyone and BAM! He sweeps you off your feet within moments. I refuse to understand. I also hate, when people put things in your head,

"He probably thinks it won't work."

"He wouldn't be talking to you if he didn't like you!"

I'm like, seriously, I have all these other thoughts to deal with...I don't want those in my head! I want that person who comes after you, who will love you for who you are. Even as I write this, somwhere in my soul I believe in true love, even love at first sight. I've been through my fair share, for sure, but that person is out there. If I have to wait my whole life for him...so be it. Of course, now would be great. :D Either way, I refuse to be persuaded, to give up on love, and to settle for someone who I will truly never be in love with. I don't want to just love someone, I want to "be" in love with them. I never said I didn't want the heartache, or that I wanted it easy...I just want that "love".

I don't know what will become of my feelings for the person I might like now, but hopefully the feelings will turn into memories and those will turn into something lasting...something real.


“Have you ever been in love? Horrible
isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your
heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up
all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt
you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders
into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your
life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats
you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we
should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your
heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a
soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
- Neil Giaman